Out for lunch...30-40 minutes.

A brun0ette, a redhead and a blonde are in a breast stroke race. The starter's gun goes off and the three girls dive into the pool. The brune0tte and the redhead shoot across the pool and get out; 20 minutes later the blonde reaches the end and gets out. The judge says, "The gold medal goes to the brune0tte, the silver medal goes to the redhead, and the bronze goes to the blonde". The blonde says, "I don't want to be a sore loser, but I think the other girls were using their arms."

A doctor, a lawyer and a manager were discussing the relative merits of having a wife or a mistress. The lawyer says: "For sure a mistress is better. If you have a wife and want a divorce, it causes all sorts of legal problems." The doctor says: "It's better to have a wife because the sense of security lowers your stress and is good for your health." The manager says: "You're both wrong. It's best to have both so that when the wife thinks you're with the mistress and the mistress thinks you're with your wife -- you can go to the office and do some work.

The classified ad said, "Wanted: CEO needs a one armed consultant, with a social sciences degree and five years of experience." The man who won the job asked, "I understand most of the qualifications you required, but why 'one armed'?" The CEO answered, "I have had many consultants, and I am tired of hearing with each advice the phrase 'on the other hand'."

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, 'What are these, Dad?' To which the man mat1ter-1of-factly replies, 'Those are called condoms, son.... Men use them to have safe sex.' 'Oh I see,'1 replied the boys pensively. 'Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school.' He looks over the display and pic1ks up a package of 3 and asks, 'Why are there 3 in this package.' The dad replies, 'Those 1are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.' 'Cool!' says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, 'Then who are these for?' 'Those are for college men.' the dad answers, 'TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday.' 'WOW!' exclaimed the boy, 'then who uses THESE?' he asks, pic1king up a 12 pack. With a sigh, the dad replied, 'Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March........'

how sad is that one? :)

A man had a habit of buying things immediately after reading the ads about the products in the paper. Naturally, his wife was not too happy about it. One day the man read an ad about a sale on steel-belted radial tires. He jumped up, exclaiming that he would quickly buy four tires while the sale was on. The wife complained, I don't know what's wrong with you. You are going to buy four expensive tires when you've got a crappy old car? The man replied, Don't make such a big deal about it! I don't complain when you buy new bras, do I?

u at work?lunch time over?

sad,sad Does it apply to you?

The married part I am asking about.

why would you ask that?

That is correct and you?

u think I am, don't you?

no I am not.

Because I would like to know!

yes you do

what do you think, how many pars of eyes are watching this now?

Dr. Parker, the biology instructor at a posh suburban girl's junior college, said during class, "Miss Smith, would you please name the organ of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size, and define 1the conditions." Miss Smith gasped, blushed deeply, then said freezingly, Dr. Parker, I do not think that is a proper question to ask me, you should be asking a boy. And I assure you my parents will hear of this." With that she sat down, very red-faced. Unperturbed, Dr. Parker called on Miss Johnson and asked the same question. Miss Johnson, with composure, replied, "The pupil of the eye, in dim light." "Correct," said Dr. Parker. "And now, Miss Smith, I have three things to say to you. One, you have not studied your lesson. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three, you will some day be faced with a dreadful disappointment."

eyes? no lets guess.

my gues is about 4 pares, you?